“I SURVIVED BECAUSE THE FIRE INSIDE ME BURNED BRIGHTER THAN THE FIRE AROUND ME.”
If this is my life off the field, you’re probably wondering where the “field” part is, huh?
This is year SIX in the NFL for my husband, Drew, and we are currently dealing with a new experience. It wouldn’t be interesting otherwise, right? We are dealing with free agency and didn’t start the beginning of training camp with a team for the first time in Drew’s career. So for the first time in a long time, I’m not living by myself this time of year. But you know what I am living with? Constant uncertainty.
Don’t get me wrong, free agency isn’t new to us.
Let’s recap for those of you who don’t know.
Drew played his rookie season in 2012 with the Pittsburgh Steelers, as well as all through training camp the following year, made the 53-man roster, and then got released September 2013. How he got released and why is a whole other story. But it wasn’t due to talent, I’ll tell you that much. Drew still holds the record for longest punt in Heinz Field and the second longest punt in Steelers franchise history.
But you want to talk about uncertainty? Drew and I had just gotten engaged. I left my dream job in NYC, moved to Pittsburgh, to only live there for 2 days before he got cut. Where are me and my fiance going to live? What are we going to do? We’ve never experienced this before? That my friends, is uncertainty.
We moved back to Atlanta for Drew to train and we were free agents for the reminder of that season. While we were planning our wedding… that’s uncertainty.
Drew then got picked up by the Chicago Bears, packed our bags, and moved to Chicago as one-month-old newlyweds.
Then guess what? As two-month-old newlyweds, we got fired. So at this point we have been through what most married couples don’t deal with until later in marriage (if ever). But guess what, we were fine.
Then we were with the Detroit Lions for one month and got released at the end of training camp.
And you want to guess when that phone rang again, TWO DAYS before the first game of the season. It was the Arizona Cardinals. Their punter had gotten hurt and we were in. Drew was on a plane 3 hours later to Phoenix. We got that call as last minute as possible and guess what? We were in Arizona for THREE YEARS. When you get the call from a team has NO CORRELATION to how long you will be with a team.
So where are we now?
Well my friends, we are back at free agency. As a 6-year-veteran. (That’s double the average length of an NFL career.) I couldn’t be more proud of Drew and how he has handled every single event. Injuries, physical therapy, backlash, uncertainty, any and everything, you name it, we’ve been through it in the NFL. We have no hard feelings though. It’s the game. This is his job he signed up for, and the life I signed along for to be by his side every step of the way.
We are back and forth between Arizona and Atlanta until we get that call. We still own our home in Arizona (because it’s no surprise how beyond obsessed we are with that GORGEOUS state. I should do a whole other post on how to compartmentalize by the way – – because even though we didn’t end well with the Cards due to injuries, we still love being in AZ. Compartmentalizing at its finest.)
WHAT YOU DO WHEN NO ONE IS WATCHING SPEAKS VOLUMES ABOUT YOU
This one makes me tear up & gives me goosebumps. You know what Drew’s doing when no one is watching? He’s on that football field every single morning, by himself, day in and day out, working harder than I’ve ever seen him work. He is stronger than ever (physically & mentally) and more ready than ever to be given an opportunity and seize it. He will be given the opportunity and he will seize it. Our marriage is STRONGER than ever. Like I said earlier, the amount of moves, hirings & firings, and uncertainty we’ve been through is nowhere near normal for any marriage. We have now been married 3.5 years, we are 28 years old, and we are the strongest couple I know. Hands down. And I am SO PROUD of it. This is our life and we are so thankful!
We will be totally great, and everything will work out! We will be with a team in no time. Until then, we are getting to enjoy some extra time together. This is football. This is how it works.
For those of you who genuinely care about us and wish us well, thank you so much, we love you so much! For those of you who act like you do, or blatantly show that you don’t, we can tell 🙂
HOW TO DEAL WITH UNCERTAINTY
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STAY FOCUSED. KEEP YOUR BLINDERS ON.
Know your goal and don’t waver from it. Don’t let doubt creep in. Of course it will here and there, because if it doesn’t, you’re not human. BUT, the SECOND it creeps in, kick it out.
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DON’T LISTEN TO ANYONE BUT YOURSELF.
Only you (and your significant other if you have one) know your dream end result. There will be whispers all around you. People will judge you, critique you, and try to bring you down. Don’t let it and don’t listen. If I had a $ for every time we have been asked, “So what is plan b for you?” in some negative connotation, I think we would have more money than we know what to do with.
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HAVE FAITH.
True faith. Honest faith. Full faith. If you have that, you know you will not only make it through, but that you will either get your dream goal, or something better.
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FIND YOUR OUTLET.
Is it working out? Is it hanging out with friends? Whatever your “thing” is, do it. Mine is reading inspirational quotes.
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CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL.
In our situation, there really isn’t anything we can control. But we are controlling the very little that we can. For you, control where you want to live. Control your attitude. Control the people you surround yourself with. Control what you can.
I hope these tips with dealing with uncertainty help you.
xoxo


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It’s great to hear that you and Drew are staying strong and positive. Life is filled with uncertainties and it sucks at times but you just gotta put your big girl panties on and deal with it. For us, tomorrow is always a blessing and we are so happy that we have friends and family to keep us going. Your article helped me with not giving up when I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Maybe you guys can come up for a visit, we’d love to show you guys around the Fort Apache Indian Reservation. God bless <3
You and your family are so strong and we are always thinking about y’all & wishing you the best. I am so so glad my article could help you a little bit <3 We would love to see you again sometime. Sending love & prayers your way.
Wow Jacqui! I had no idea of the past and present of Drews career. It’s clear yall have both made sacrifices, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Theres so much positivity radiating from yall, there’s no doubt things will work out perfectly!! Stay blessed!!
Thank you for the love & thank you for following along! We sure haven’t had a straight-line but it all works out and will continue to do so 🙂
Drew is so lucky to have you – I know your encouragement and positive attitude mean everything. Keep the faith, God does not make mistakes. We just have to trust in His timing 🙏🏈 Also, would love to read a future post about compartmentalizing, you sound like you’re much better at it than I am 😉
You are so sweet, thank you so much for your kind words 🙂 I will certainly write one up! xoxo
I enjoy following you on Instagram and value reading about your journey with Drew in an exciting yet uncertain career. My mother gave me some advice one day as we sat having coffee together, talking and sharing thoughts. She told me that life will present many changes–don’t fight it, try to adapt and go with it. Of course, I was in high school and couldn’t really appreciate her advice. I remembered it as I got older. Her advice was so valuable and reflects your own experiences. I wish you and Drew all the best– on and off the field. You will be fine…stronger and stronger with every change.
Take care, Sandy
Sandy, Thank you SO MUCH for your very kind words and advice! I absolutely love it! Thanks for following along and for your well wishes! xo
You guys are a special couple!!! It’s not easy but it’s always worth it!!! Hoping you guys get to stick around AZ!
Thank you!! Yes, exactly xoxo
You two are the cutest couple! I love seeing photos of you and the family. Can’t wait to see what comes next for you guys.
Thank you!! xoxo
Well said! Stay strong and have faith…..you will end up on top!!!
Thank you!!
Thank you for sharing this so openly and honestly Jacqui!! I know you and Drew will land on your feet no matter where you are and that you will make the best of it because of your positive attitude and network of support! xo
Thank you!! xoxo
You two have a beautiful relationship. It reminds me of the life my husband and I have lead with a military background; the moving, the uncertainty, the stress it all causes. There are no guarantees in life, that’s for sure, but when you know you have a strong bond with your partner as you make your way through this crazy ride of life, you are truly blessed. I had the pleasure to briefly work with Drew on some fun school visits and met you both at a few Cardinal events. Your strong loving bond was clearly evident. You’ve got this. Best of luck to you both as the next exciting adventure is right around the corner.
Thank you so much for your kind words!! Hope you are doing well 🙂 xo
LOVE this! My significant other is currently a free agent punter while I am finishing up school, and uncertainty is our middle name at the moment. The constant “whats next for you?” “where will you be moving to?” “Whats your plan B?” “You’re going to follow him around?” drives me bananas, but you’re right, we know our path and can control only what we can control! thank you! Love hearing about this (especially right now lol)!
Oh my gosh, if I had a dollar for everytime I heard those questions!! Keep up your positivity and right mindset. Do what you can do and then trust the rest 🙂 Best of luck and reach out to me anytime for support! xo